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Ephesians 3:14
14. For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father,
15. from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,
16. that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man;
17. so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; {and} that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18. may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19. and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fulness of God.
20. Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,
21. to Him {be} the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

The following essay is the continuation of an another pamphlet entitled, "Dealing with Anger." We pray this study concerning some other aspects of anger will be enlightening and encouraging to homeschooling mothers whose children's behavior may at times tempt them to "be angry and unforgiving." Unforgiveness in the heart towards any person is torment and bondage and is a major root cause for much defeat, discouragement and depression.

Proverbs 19:11
11. A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

MOSES: AN EXAMPLE OF TWO KINDS OF ANGER

Moses' Anger with No Sin
Because Moses knew that God's character included "slow to anger" (Exodus 34:6-9), Moses experienced times of anger, but he didn't sin.

1. Moses' relationship with Pharaoh and his hard heart caused Moses to be angry, but we do not see this anger acknowledged by the Lord as sin.

   Exodus 11:7
   7. 'But against any of the sons of Israel a dog shall not {even} bark, whether against man or beast, that you may understand how the \Lord\ makes a distinction between Egypt and Israel.'
   8. "And all these your servants will come down to me and bow themselves before me, saying, 'Go out, you and all the people who follow you,' and after that I will go out." And he went out from Pharaoh in hot anger.

2. Moses' relationship with the Israelites and their rebellion and idolatry also caused Moses to be angry, but as before, the Lord makes no mention of Moses' anger as being sinful.

   Exodus 16:20
   20. But they did not listen to Moses, and some left part of it until morning, and it bred worms and became foul; and Moses was angry with them.

   Exodus 32:19
   19. And it came about, as soon as Moses came near the camp, that he saw the calf and {the} dancing; and Moses' anger burned, and he threw the tablets from his hands and shattered them at the foot of the mountain.

   Exodus 32:22
   22. And Aaron said, "Do not let the anger of my lord burn; you know the people yourself, that they are prone to evil.

   Aaron cautioned Moses about his anger in this circumstance because he was afraid Moses would vent his anger on him. We must remember that Moses once killed a man because his sense of justice was not yet tempered by His relationship with the Lord.

3. Moses was angry with Aaron's sons (Eleazar and Ithamar) who did not eat the sin offering when their two brothers (Nadab and Abihu) were instantly consumed "for offering strange fire before the Lord" which He did not command.

   Leviticus 10:16
   16. But Moses searched carefully for the goat of the sin offering, and behold, it had been burned up! So he was angry with Aaron's surviving sons Eleazar and Ithamar, saying,

   On this occasion Aaron's explanation appeased Moses' anger, and there is no mention of sin.

4. Moses' relationship with Korah, Dothan and Abiram caused Moses "to burn with anger". Korah and some other Levites were upset with Moses because the Lord was dealing with sin in the midst of the people.
   1. Numbers 11:1-10 - Moses was displeased and thought the complaining of the people was evil, but he still interceded for them.
   2. Numbers 12:1-16 - Moses had to intercede for Miriam's leprosy when the spirit of partiality (racism) caused Miriam to reject Moses' wife and thus try to exalt herself.
   3. Numbers 13 & 14 - Moses interceded for the lives of the Israelites when the ten spies brought back a negative report that caused a whole generation to go into doubt and unbelief and lose their inheritance.
   4. Numbers 15:32-36 - A man had to be stoned for violating the rules of the Sabbath.
   It is out of these circumstances just mentioned that Korah tried to exalt himself. Korah showed he was not a true example (leader) for God's people because he didn't understand godly holiness. Korah's rebellion was not against Moses' leadership. His rebellion was really against God who had demonstrated His standard of holiness and obedience (Numbers 16:30). Korah was not content with God's appointment of his assigned duties within the tabernacle as a Levite. Korah wanted Moses' responsibilities (Numbers 16:18-11). Korah proved he was not an example (leader) for God's people when he refused to acknowledge the rebellion and stubborn obstinance of the people (Numbers 16:3) by defending them rather than interceding for them. When Korah pronounced holiness upon a people whom God Himself had declared as unbelieving, idolatrous, stiff-necked and unthankful, Moses immediately interceded (Numbers 16:4).

   When Dathan and Abiram refused to answer Moses' summons (Numbers 16:12), Moses vented his anger directly to the Lord.

   Numbers 16:15
   15. Then Moses became very angry and said to the \Lord,\ "Do not regard their offering! I have not taken a single donkey from them, nor have I done harm to any of them."

   In the midst of God's immediate judgment of splitting earth and fire that consumed these men, their families and all their possessions, Moses' attitude of anger is never acquainted with sin.

The New Testament teaches the same principle

Ephesians 4:26
26. \Be angry, and\ {yet} \do not sin;\ do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27. and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Moses' Anger with Sin

However, even though Moses interceded many times for God's mercy to displace His wrath against the nation of Israel, Moses also fell to the temptation to "be angry" in such a way that he then sinned. A few chapters later in Numbers the following account is given.

Numbers 20:1
1. Then the sons of Israel, the whole congregation, came to the wilderness of Zin in the first month; and the people stayed at Kadesh. Now Miriam died there and was buried there.
2. And there was no water for the congregation; and they assembled themselves against Moses and Aaron.
3. The people thus contended with Moses and spoke, saying, "If only we had perished when our brothers perished before the \Lord\!
4. "Why then have you brought the \Lord's\ assembly into this wilderness, for us and our beasts to die here?
5. "And why have you made us come up from Egypt, to bring us in to this wretched place? It is not a place of grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, nor is there water to drink."
6. Then Moses and Aaron came in from the presence of the assembly to the doorway of the tent of meeting, and fell on their faces. Then the glory of the \Lord\ appeared to them;
7. and the \Lord\ spoke to Moses, saying,
8. "Take the rod; and you and your brother Aaron assemble the congregation and speak to the rock before their eyes, that it may yield its water. You shall thus bring forth water for them out of the rock and let the congregation and their beasts drink."
9. So Moses took the rod from before the \Lord,\ just as He had commanded him;
10. and Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly before the rock. And he said to them, "Listen now, you rebels; shall we bring forth water for you out of this rock?"
11. Then Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came forth abundantly, and the congregation and their beasts drank.
12. But the \Lord\ said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you have not believed Me, to treat Me as holy in the sight of the sons of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them."
13. Those {were} the waters of Meribah, because the sons of Israel contended with the \Lord,\ and He proved Himself holy among them.

Like Moses we are to speak to the rock. We are to pray and intercede to Christ, our rock for His miraculous provision. Then our family will see God's holiness.

Even though no anger of Moses is explicitly mentioned in this passage, Moses himself reiterates this event three different times with these words.

Deuteronomy 1:37
37. "The \Lord\ was angry with me also on your account, saying, 'Not even you shall enter there.

Deuteronomy 3:24
24. 'O Lord \God,\ Thou hast begun to show Thy servant Thy greatness and Thy strong hand; for what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as Thine?
25. 'Let me, I pray, cross over and see the fair land that is beyond the Jordan, that good hill country and Lebanon.'
26. "But the \Lord\ was angry with me on your account, and would not listen to me; and the \Lord\ said to me, 'Enough! Speak to Me no more of this matter.

Deuteronomy 4:21
21. "Now the \Lord\ was angry with me on your account, and swore that I should not cross the Jordan, and that I should not enter the good land which the \Lord\ your God is giving you as an inheritance.
22. "For I shall die in this land, I shall not cross the Jordan, but you shall cross and take possession of this good land.
23. "So watch yourselves, lest you forget the covenant of the \Lord\ your God, which He made with you, and make for yourselves a graven image in the form of anything {against} which the \Lord\ your God has commanded you.

Unbelief: root of sin
Why was the Lord so angry with Moses? What did Moses do that caused the Lord to respond to him in anger? What are we supposed to learn from this Old Testament saint? God Himself told Moses that the root of his disobedience was unbelief(Num 20:12). In obedience to the following New Testament exhortation we parents need to be sure we are fleeing from all forms of self-idolatry, doubt and unbelief. We must continually seek the Lord to provide His way of escape out of sinful anger.

I Corinthians 10:11
11. Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.
12. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
13. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.
14. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.

FAITH, HUMILITY, PRAYER AND OBEDIENCE

The written word of God reveals that Moses displayed both types of anger, and we have seen that unbelief and sinful anger caused him to disobey God's instructions and lose the privilege of going into the promised land with Joshua and Caleb. We must realize that we, like Moses, may find ourselves in similar situations in which our unbelief and anger could move us to disobey our Lord (self-idolatry). It is possible to think we have prayed correctly about a child's rebellion and sin because we have done it many times before, and, like Moses, it is part of our lifestyle. However, if that prayer doesn't touch the depths of our own spirit, if that prayer doesn't expose any hidden unbelief or unforgiveness in our own heart, we may find ourselves in a place where we personally disobey God's instructions to us in other matters, and we sin by setting an example of disobedience to our children. However, Proverbs 19:11 first mentioned in this essay should give us much hope because it says that it is discretion that makes a person "slow to anger." Thus it must be possible to discover what discretion is and ask the Lord to give us this revelation into His character quality so that we might be able to obey His commands in the power of His Spirit and see His character revealed in and through us to our children.

Wisdom and Discretion Work Together
Discretion is the Hebrew word mizimmah(4209) which means purpose, discretion or device. The following scriptures where this Hebrew word occurs is significant to this study.

Proverbs 1:4
4. To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion,

The context of this verse is the introduction to Solomon's Book of Proverbs which promises certain qualities or character changes to the one who makes Proverbs a book of daily study. Thus one way to receive discretion is to read the Proverbs and allow the Holy Spirit to use them as a mirror to reveal unbelief so that we might repent and allow Christ's life and character to come forth.

Proverbs 2:11
11. Discretion will guard you, Understanding will watch over you,

In this passage we learn that discretion is a form of protection or a guard, so it is clear that this is something we really should desire to have as a daily part of our lives.

Proverbs 3:21
21. My son, let them not depart from your sight; Keep sound wisdom and discretion,

This passage teaches us that discretion is something of value that we are to keep, but this verse also implies that it is possible to lose discretion if we aren't diligent.

Proverbs 5:1
1. My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding;
2. That you may observe discretion, And your lips may reserve knowledge.

The wisdom of God contained in the Proverbs and listening to God's understanding that is also contained in them is necessary for us to be able to obey discretion. When discretion is part of our life, our lips will speak forth knowledge! This passage may also imply that I need revelation into God's wisdom and understanding to be able to "see" or observe discretion operating in myself or in another.

The next Proverb teaches the same principle.

Proverbs 8:12
12. "I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, And I find knowledge {and} discretion.

The passage teaches that dwelling with wisdom is the way to find discretion. According to the following scripture this is exactly the fruit that should come forth when we are abiding in Christ.

I Corinthians 1:30
30. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption,
31. that, just as it is written, "\Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.\"

Thus when I abide in Christ and He abides in me, I am in the place to receive discretion. I will find it. It will become mine.

The following scripture has an unusual translation for mizimmah.

Proverbs 14:17
17. A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated.

When a person acts foolishly, the root cause is really a quick-temper. If I do not forgive the foolishness of my children the minute it asserts itself, that foolishness has the legal right to latch onto me, and when it does, I will move with a quick-temper rather than demonstrating the example of God who is "slow to anger."

II Corinthians 2:10
10. But whom you forgive anything, I {forgive} also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, {I did it} for your sakes in the presence of Christ,
11. in order that no advantage be taken of us by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes.

The deception that occurs during these "trying" moments is the logical conclusion that it is the foolishness of my child that is making me angry. The reality of such situations is the child's foolishness is a "temptation" for the mother. The temptation occurs to see if the mother will forgive the child immediately and be "slow to anger" or be unforgiving and be an example of ungodly behavior. Too many homeschooling mothers are under tremendous pressure for their children to be "model" examples of perfectly trained children. Even the scriptures can be used often by the enemy to bring mothers under illegal guilt and condemnation. Parents are not responsible for a child's behavior. The child is responsible for his own behavior. Parents are responsible to correct that wrong behavior in love, faith, and forgiveness when foolishness is allowed to enter the home through the child. If the mother moves in "quick-temper" rather than with wisdom and discretion, she then exposes her own foolishness, and the enemy has won a victory. Jesus told his disciples,

Matthew 26:41
41. "Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Grief and Sorrow
When a child acts foolishly, there is more than one battle that must be fought and won. The enemy has succeeded in getting one member of the family (the child) to obey his voice. However, the following Proverbs will help us understand the dynamics of the spiritual battle that is being waged against the mother at exactly the same time.

Proverbs 10:1
1. The proverbs of Solomon. #A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.

The minute foolishness is exposed in a child, the mother experiences grief. The Hebrew word for grief is tugah(8424) which is also translated grief or sorrow. Tugah is translated as grief in the following scripture.

Psalms 119:28
28. My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Thy word.

The idea in this passage of the soul weeping doesn't necessarily mean crying with tears. The margin rendering says the soul "drops". When foolishness in a child confronts a mother, the mother is automatically in a defensive position. She is no longer on the offensive in this battle; her soul (her mind, will and emotions) have been dealt a hard blow, and unless she immediately moves in the strength and power of the Holy Spirit and His word, she will continually get weaker in this battle until she is totally defeated. Satan's desire is to have two foolish people battling each other rather than one wise, strong mother standing firm for the spiritual life of her child.

In the following verse tugah is translated sorrow.

Proverbs 17:21
21. He who begets a fool {does so} to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.

This scripture adds a further dimension to the spiritual battle that is raging. The mother sees and experiences the foolish behavior. The father may be working out of the home or if he works at home, he may not be present or able to deal with the foolish behavior of the child, so it is under the mother's jurisdiction. However, the mother's faith is under attack at this point because her spirit knows if the foolishness is not eradicated at the root level and is allowed to become a habit, her husband will lose his joy. Because this is a spiritual battle and not a physical, tangible one, the father may have lost his joy while on the job and have no idea that his child's behavior at home is connected to the battle he is facing at work. Thus this satanic attack needs to be discerned correctly by the mother and the father. When the father does return to the home scene, he needs to listen very carefully to the mother. Because the father wasn't present, he has to discern correctly what has actually occurred and what now needs to be done with the child. However, before he does so, he needs to totally support the mother whose soul realm has been severely attacked. The Hebrew word that we have just studied is derived from yagah(3013) which means "to suffer."

The following Proverb clearly delineates just how serious foolishness in a child is to the mother and how much she is really suffering and how much she must do to be an overcomer in the situation.

Proverbs 15:20
20. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother.

The act of foolishness in a child no matter how insignificant puts a mother in a wounded despised condition. Thoughts of doubt, unbelief, insecurity, and a lack of confidence etc. have to be fought off, and she may not have been very successful at doing so. The father may need to help the mother pray through some of this feeling of contempt so that faith, love and forgiveness are truly established and operating within the mother.

I Peter 3:7
7. You husbands likewise, live with {your wives} in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

The Hebrew word bazah(959) is also translated contempt, disdained, and despised. The same word is used in the following passages, and it is easy to see that this is not a behavior which can be easily ignored. It is detrimental to the child to allow it to continue unabated.

Genesis 25:34
34. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew; and he ate and drank, and rose and went on his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

The New Testament comments about Esau's situation.

Hebrews 12:15
15. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;
16. that {there be} no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a {single} meal.
17. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.

The following scripture reveals Michal's attitude of contempt toward David.

II Samuel 6:16
16. Then it happened {as} the ark of the \Lord\ came into the city of David that Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the \Lord;\ and she despised him in her heart.

II Samuel 6:23
23. And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.

The following passage describes the Lord's view of David's adultery with Bathsheba.

II Samual 12:10
10. 'Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.'

The passage from Isaiah reveals the contempt and disdain that Jesus endured.

Isaiah 53:3
3. He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

In these three situations found in the Old Testament (Esau, Michal, and David), each had to bear the punishment of their sin within their lifetimes. However, the prophecy of Jesus on the Cross is the mother's hope for her foolish child. In spite of all the pain and suffering, she needs to be reminded of the truth of the gospel. If she is too wounded to hear it for herself from the Holy Spirit, it is the father's place to instruct his wife in the word, and thus appropriate the blood of Christ to cleanse his wife from any unforgiveness towards the child.

Ephesians 5:25
25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;
26. that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27. that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.

This is a time for her to be reminded that she too must take up her cross and follow Jesus, even if the wounds to her soul come from her own flesh and blood. She must learn to respond to foolish rebellion in the same way Jesus did, "Father, forgive them. They know not what they do." The mother needs to see that this situation is designed by God to help her learn to reveal Jesus, so that the child can see Jesus and not just his mother.

This last Old Testament scripture which contains despised should give a "wounded" mother much comfort. It clearly describes the behavior of a foolish child who has not yet learned or has forgotten not only his parents' teaching and instruction but also the word of the Lord. It also shows the correct attitude the mother should allow the Holy Spirit to bring forth in her.

Psalms 119:139
139. My zeal has consumed me, Because my adversaries have forgotten Thy words.
140. Thy word is very pure, Therefore Thy servant loves it.
141. I am small and despised, {Yet} I do not forget Thy precepts.
142. Thy righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, And Thy law is truth.
143. Trouble and anguish have come upon me; {Yet} Thy commandments are my delight.
144. Thy testimonies are righteous forever; Give me understanding that I may live.

This prayer needs to be a mother's heart's cry before she endeavors to deal with her foolish child. A mother must be moving in faith, wisdom, discretion, love and forgiveness before she can obey the scripture to use the rod on her wayward child. If she cannot get rid of unbelief, anger and unforgiveness, she needs to silence her tongue and wait until the father can help her and the child be victorious in this battle.

Rejection and Shame
The next Proverb gives further instruction and explanation for what a mother is experiencing when foolishness, disobedience and rebellion is controlling one of her children.

Proverbs 19:26
26. He who assaults {his} father {and} drives {his} mother away Is a shameful and disgraceful son.
27. Cease listening, my son, to discipline, {And you will} stray from the words of knowledge.

Most mothers who find themselves facing a foolish child often have a desire to leave home, quit homeschooling, give up in despair and plan enrolling the child in school. Often the father can't understand such extreme swings of emotion because he doesn't fully comprehend the intensity of the spiritual battle that is being waged against his home. However, the mother is being very consistent to the wisdom found within Proverbs. The child's behavior drives his mother away from him, and the mother needs a lot of instruction to not give in to drastic decisions made during this intense time of pressure. If a father is not able to help his wife "obey" the command of the Lord to love and nurture her children by adhering to His will to homeschool their children, he may need to call on the Lord to provide an older women who is a victorious, veteran homeschooling mother who can help his wife come through this time with tears of victory and joy.

Titus 2:3
3. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4. that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5. {to be} sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

A spirit of rejection can take hold of a mother at this point and cause the mother to reject the child in her heart and even have feelings of hatred towards this one that is causing her to want to run away from his presence.

Many homeschooling families do not understand that this is the third level of spiritual attack that the mother engages when a child does not conquer foolishness in the Spirit of the Lord and in His power. Titus makes it quite clear that a defeated homeschooling mother dishonors the word of the Lord when she walks in unforgiveness or puts the children back in school because her flesh or a spirit of rejection is controlling her rather than her spirit controlling her behavior through the power of the Holy Spirit. When parents understand the intensity and strategy of the satanic attack which comes through the children, then "burn out", "adult peer pressure" and "exhausted mothers" will be discerned correctly and fought triumphantly.

The Hebrew word translated drives away is barach(1272) which gives the impression to flee away in a hurry. If the mother can face foolishness with the correct way to flee, she will probably win the spiritual battle with only the Lord's help. When foolishness appears, she must separate herself from the child until she is confident she has heard the Lord's wisdom, insight, and guidance concerning the problem. Once that has been attained, she can quietly and calmly use the rod on the child and hopefully lead him into repentance before God. Fleeing to God away from the child may mean a physical move to her prayer closet. Sometimes it is possible and necessary to stay in the child's presence and still internally flee to God to hear His voice on the matter. No matter what the situation may be, the goal is to "be in agony don't be angry!" Desperate intercession is the key.

The next Proverb is very familiar to most homeschooling mothers, but perhaps now it will have a lot more practical application and understanding.

Proverbs 29:15
15. The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

The minute a child acts foolishly or gets his own way, the mother is shamed. It doesn't matter if it is in the privacy of her own home or in the center of a shopping mall. She experiences shame, and she must deal with her own problem first before she can deal with the child's foolishness. Most homeschooling mothers skip this vital step that we discussed earlier. In public, it is very difficult to flee away from the child and run to the Lord for His instruction and guidance. Thus homeschooling mothers have to learn to do this quickly, quietly and thoroughly in the privacy of their own homes, so that when they are in public, their senses have been practiced to hear the voice of the Good Shepherd and He is obeyed. It is important to note in this Proverb that the rod and reproof do not deal with the mother's shame, but obeying this scripture "in the Lord" should give the mother wisdom and insight as well. The rod and reproof are necessary to replace the foolishness of the child with wisdom. The child must be taught that wisdom is more desirable than foolishness.

When a child is around other children, it seems that years of hometraining are forgotten in an instant of time! That is exactly what the enemy wants mothers to believe. The shame comes to the mother when she doesn't take the time to deal with the first sign of foolishness. The shame comes when the mother continues to talk with friends, continues her shopping, and/or refuses to deal with the problem that is at hand because she is in public or around her own peers. Most adults don't mind children who are foolish as long as their parents deal with the foolishness, and the correction brings forth an obedient, submissive spirit in the child. Adults get very nervous and tense around children whose parents will not take the time from their own conversations or busyness (self-idolatry) to deal with a child's foolishness. These adults will often be unconsciously unforgiving toward the child and its parents and will have a strong desire to withdraw from this family. A spirit of rejection is in control of this family rather than unconditional love if the families have to separate. Those moving in unconditional love will continue to pray and seek the Lord's intervention to remedy the situation; they will desperately intercede for the Lord to help this family deal correctly with a foolish child. Relational problems between whole families can be avoided if parents understand the intensity of the spiritual battle that is waged against a mother when foolishness in a child does not receive the Lord's correction and shame is oppressing her.

However, the same shame also comes to a mother in the privacy of her own home when she ignores foolishness in a child to talk on the phone, continue cooking, cleaning or attending to the myriad of other duties for which she is responsible. The battle in the unseen realm is waging a heavy attack upon the mother, and she may not realize that her child's foolishness has put her into a defensive position that is orchestrated by the devil to make her feel ashamed. If the shame isn't dealt with correctly in the privacy of her own home, the mother isn't able to deal with foolishness when it manifests itself in her child in a public situation to further humiliate her. What a mother sows in her home will be harvested in public. If she remembers her primary responsibility is to deal with foolishness in the power and strength of the Holy Spirit in the privacy of her own home, her shame in public will progressively lessen. The obedient process of using reproof and the rod with a foolish child gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to give more wisdom to the mother as well as to the child.

This verse in Proverbs 29 makes it clear that a child who never learns the way of wisdom, will bring reproach and shame upon his mother. That is very hard to accept, but a child must learn that his unrepentant behavior does place his mother in a difficult place on the earth in society and in the spiritual realm. Reproach, shame, and peer pressure that come as a consequence of obeying the Lord (eg. choosing to homeschool), can be overcome by most homeschooling mothers. However, the reproach, shame, and peer pressure that occur because a child's selfish behavior is allowed to continue is not so easy to overcome.

II Corinthians 3:15
15. But to this day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their heart;
16. but whenever a man turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.
17. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, {there} is liberty.
18. But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

We must continually remember that it takes a sovereign work of grace from the Lord, the Holy Spirit, into the child's heart to bring true repentance. Parents must learn to have their own heart attitudes adjusted and changed by the Holy Spirit and to await the Lord's timing for gift of repentance to be received by the child.

The following verses are given to remind parents just how serious foolish behavior is to a child who is left to his own stubborn will. They are given also to share with the child so that he too may understand the seriousness of his foolishness that rebels against God's word and places himself and his parents in danger.

Proverbs 30:11
11. There is a kind of {man} who curses his father, And does not bless his mother.

Proverbs 20:20
20. He who curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness.

Proverbs 28:24
24. He who robs his father or his mother, And says, "It is not a transgression," Is the companion of a man who destroys.

Proverbs 30:17
17. The eye that mocks a father, And scorns a mother, The ravens of the valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it.

Proverbs 23:22
22. Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

May this final scripture be true of those who take the time to hear the Holy Spirit and obey His wisdom when foolishness threatens to steal God's blessing of righteousness, peace and joy from the home.

Proverbs 29:17
17. Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.

SHORT OUTLINE

1. Read Proverbs daily.
2. Abide in Christ.
3. Guard against temptation through desperate prayer and intercession.
4. Recognize the satanic attack.
5. Separate yourself to
   1. pray (listen for God's words of wisdom concerning the situation);
   2. believe God's word (get rid of your own unbelief and unforgiveness);
   3. repent and be newly filled with the Holy Spirit;
   4. obey the Holy Spirit's specific directions;
6. Rely upon your husband's protection and guidance.
7. Have faith in God.

I John 5:13
13. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, in order that you may know that you have eternal life.
14. And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
15. And if we know that He hears us {in} whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.